Rooted In Real Talk

By Regina Thomas

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Mental Health: Breaking the Silence

In my culture, mental health has long been taboo — seen as a sign of weakness. “Girl, you’re strong. You come from strong women. You’ll be okay.” “You don’t want people thinking you’re crazy or that you can’t handle your business.” These were the comments I heard growing up. Meant to uplift. And in some ways, they did. They carried pride, survival, and deep generational resilience. But they also carried something else:
Silence. Pressure. The unspoken rule that vulnerability equals weakness… and that asking for help meant you were broken.

While “You come from strong women. You’ll be okay,” teaches resilience, it also sends other messages:

• Don’t break down.
• Don’t show weakness.
• Don’t let people see your struggles.

And that second line — “You don’t want people thinking you’re crazy” — that’s a direct hit to mental health. It forces people to hide real pain. It creates shame around therapy, medication, rest — or even naming what hurts.

But let me be real with you: Taking care of your mental health isn’t weakness. It’s resilience. It’s growth. It’s power. It’s strength. And Lord knows it’s peace.

Mental Health is a Journey-Not a Sprint

My journey with mental health has been enlightening, terrifying, rewarding, and one of the most challenging parts of my life. I still ride the waves of depression and wrestle with how to take care of my mental health. Some days feel impossible. Some days I feel stuck. And some days, I just fake it until I make it.

But I keep moving. I keep fighting for my peace, my joy, my life.

So, if you’re reading this and feeling any of those things, know this: You are not alone. You’ve found a space where we will learn, heal, and grow—together.

Journaling: My Path to Truth

Journaling has been my lifeline. My way to unpack divorce, heartbreak, death, and even losing my hair (RIP, edges) When I tell you, Every challenge shook me. Every setback humbled me. But every time, journaling helped me find my footing again.

When I lost my mother, I journaled day and night. That grief took a major toll on my mental health. We talked every day. Laughed like best friends. Fought like sisters. Loved like soulmates. After her passing, I just kept falling. The depression was so heavy I couldn’t even get out of bed. I wrote things like:

“I can’t breathe, I can’t move, I can’t stop crying, I don’t understand why God took you. I’m mad, hurt, and lost. How do I live in a world without you?”

Thank God my children were grown—because climbing out of that space was long, lonely, and exhausting. And it cost me–time, energy, and pieces of myself. But I made it. Her passing still hurts, but I found help through a local support group in my community as well as family and friends. Finding what you need, when you need it is never easy, but it is necessary.

Finding Help: Not Easy, But Necessary

Support for your mental health is not just about getting help–It’s about finding the right help. The right fit. You can’t force it, just like you can’t force your feet into a pair of heels that don’t fit no matter how cute they are. Help comes in many forms–therapy, counseling, group support etc. –but the truth is, it’s not always affordable or accessible. So, when looking, here are some options to consider:

• Therapy that is based on a sliding scale– Based on your income. Look up Open Path Collective or search sliding scale therapist near me.
• Community mental health clinics- Offer low-cost counseling.
• Faith-based counseling– Found at your local places of worship.
• Support Groups (online and In-Person)-national Alliance on Mental Illness, Meetup.com for local groups and Mental Health America, these are stating points.
• Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)-Many jobs are now offering programs and services that care for employees’ mental health.
• University or Training Clinics- Although you will get students in training, remember that these are under licensed supervision often for low cost and sometimes free.

Remember, these are just options to help you find a therapist. But as far as one that is a good fit for you. The ball is in your court — you’re the one choosing your therapist.
But here’s the truth: sometimes finding the right therapist comes with heartache and disappointment. Let me share a couple of my own experiences with you. And yes, you heard that right — a couple. Because it takes a special kind of person to help make sense of the chaos in my head.

Not All Therapist Are Created Equal

The “Power Dynamic” Therapist

As a young military member in my 20s, needing help with my depression. I sought help outside the base, going to a therapist that used sliding scale therapy. Her fee was $10 a session and I was to see her twice a week (Yes, $10-but when you’re seeking your sliding scale, don’t go quoting me, that was a longggg time ago). During the first session we talked about what therapy would look like. Homework, working together, and getting to the root of my issues. I was happy. Y’all after the third session, I began feeling uneasy. This was not therapy, this was trying to take over my life and tell me what to do. I might have been young, but I definitely was not stupid. She was making suggestions that would impact my life not improve it. Yeah, she had to go. And I let her know I would not be back.

The “Not My Job Therapist”

The second time, I found a young lady who was former military like me. We talked about the military and I thought, finally, someone who I have a liked background with someone who I believed I could be comfortable with because life had taken a hit, and I was spiraling. I poured my heart out, snot and tears flying–not really sure what was wrong but knowing I needed help—she said:

“You should probably see a VA therapist and consider medication. “If you think you’re still open to therapy, you can come back.” Wow!!

But here is the kicker, she stood up and said you can pay the copay or not it doesn’t really matter…WTH is happening here? Then she continued to stand until I got my butt out of the chair and stood looking at her like what just happened here. But she politely handed me her card and said let me know what you decide. I walked outside looking at the card and threw it in the parking lot like a losing scratch-off ticket. Disappointed, Disillusioned, and yeah, a little heartbroken. I cried all the way home, 30miles. 💔

But I’m telling you this not to discourage you —but to prepare you. Therapy is a personal fit. It’s an interview process. You’re looking for someone to walk with you on one of your most vulnerable journeys.

Real Talk Tips: Finding the Right Mental Health Support

• Interview your therapist like you are Oprah: You are allowed to ask questions and see if it’s the right vibe.
• Check credentials+ specialties: Some focus on trauma, some on grief, others on cultural sensitivity.
• Ask about sliding scale options if you’re on a budget.
• Look for shared experiences: Sometimes, culture, race, background, or language matters in feeling safe.: just because one (or even a few) don’t work out, doesn’t mean healing isn’t possible. And know this:

🖤You’re Not Alone

Here at Rooted in Real Talk, we will continue to share, support, and be here —Because the journey is too hard to walk alone.

Let’s take the difficulty out of chaos and grow together.

Because sometimes healing starts with telling the truth–and laughing through the tears.

Now grab your drink of choice and join the conversation. I’m here and listening. Opps, I forgot my doughnut. Y’all continue engaging, I’ll be right back.