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Conversations with Regina

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    • Chronic Pain: The Silent Thief

      By Regina Thomas

      “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” Maya Angelou

      Introduction

      Chronic pain doesn’t just hurt — it steals.
      It steals sleep, focus, movement, and peace of mind.
      It lingers for months or even years, turning everyday tasks into uphill battles. And when something constantly disrupts your ability to live fully, it doesn’t just affect your body — it begins to wear on your mind. The connection between chronic pain, depression, and anxiety isn’t just common; for many, it’s inevitable.

      The Diagnosis

      The Results: November 6, 2017 X-ray

      Procedure: Lumbar Spine (AP, Lateral, L5-S1 spot)
      Findings:

      • Mild curvature in the thoracolumbar spine
      • Degenerative changes with osteophyte (bone spur) formation
      • Disc space narrowing at L5-S1
      • Facet hypertrophy in lower lumbar spine
      • Arthritic changes in the left hip

      Impression:

      1. No compression fracture
      2. Arthritic changes
        Primary Diagnostic Code: ABNORMALITY, CORRELATE CLINICALLY

      It would be six more years, and several physicians later, before I was granted an MRI.

      The 2023 MRI – What They Finally Found
      • Disc desiccation and mild disc height loss at L3-L4 and L4-L5
      • Endplate osteophytosis (bone spurs)
      • Conus medullaris terminates at L1-L2 (normal)
      • Mild bilateral facet arthrosis at L2-L3
      • L3-L4 disc bulge with right foraminal protrusion
      • Mild to moderate central canal stenosis and bilateral lateral recess stenosis
      • L4-L5 annular disc bulge with severe bilateral recess stenosis and bilateral L5 nerve root impingement
      • L5-S1 disc bulge and further stenosis

      My Treatment Journey

      Physical Therapy & Beyond

      PT consisted of a machine to stretch my back, dry needling, and heating pads.
      Some days, I left feeling worse than when I walked in. Not exaggerating.

      Then came Battlefield Acupuncture — tiny earring-like devices placed on specific points of your ear to relieve pain.
      Yeah, I’d never heard of it either. But listen—when you’re in pain, you’ll try almost anything. If someone had handed me a mojo bag to ward off the pain, I’d have been first in line. Y’all they sent me to see the Social Worker, who taught pain management through the use of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and then off to Podiatry, again.

      The Mental Toll

      While my body was hurting, my mental health was unraveling. I was holding my life together by a thread.
      The weight of chronic pain is hard to explain unless you’ve lived it.

      It doesn’t just change how you move — it changes how you think, feel, and connect with the world.
      My depression hit levels I hadn’t seen in years.
      I felt invisible, overwhelmed, and hopeless.
      Each day felt like a marathon… and I was running on fumes.

      The Breaking Point: June 9, 2025

      I went to my appointment with symptoms that had become constant:

      • Tingling in my lower back
      • Crawling sensation up and down my legs
      • Tingling on the bottom of my feet
      • Pain around my ankles and pulling in the back of my feet

      I told myself this was the day — I would advocate for community care. When I finished my spill on why I should be referred to community health, the doctor looked at me and said: “Your only option is more PT… and back to podiatry.” I can’t send you for community care, our protocol states, if we can treat you, we can’t refer you.

      “On this day my spirit broke…my heart broke…my mental health and my resolve broke

      I pulled out my soap box, stood in the middle of the floor, and said:

      “8 years. 8 years I have been coming here asking for help while the VA minimize not only me but my pain. You say you’re trying to help, but help comes in non-help, substandard care and me not being seen or heard and I have had enough…I am literally fighting for my health, my life, my mental well- being as my quality of life is going downhill. There is no me in this system and I can no longer afford to idly sit by as this system kills me. So, today it ends…And I got up and walked out…”

      When the System Hurts More Than the Pain

      This is what chronic pain looks like filtered through bureaucracy:
      • Denied referrals
      • Recycled treatments
      • Protocol over people
      • And a system that makes you feel like a chart number, not a veteran

      The Final Verdict

      Before I left, I turned back for one final statement as I said to him:

      “There are veterans who don’t have private insurance, or the resources to leave this system. My voice today—it’s not just mine. It’s for them. For every vet forced to accept broken protocols and dismissive care. For every one of us buried under red tape and disregarded and while I do have the resources to leave, I pray that the next veteran that walks into your office you will have enough compassion to advocate for their care.” THEN

      I walked out—not just for me, but for every veteran who deserves better.

      As women, and especially as Black women, our pain is often minimized, scrutinized, and denied.
      But today, I took a stand. For those before me. And for those that will come after me.

      What I Found Out:

       I have discovered that if my 2017 X-ray had been followed up with an MRI when I first reported numbness, tingling, and stinging in my legs, my treatment plan would (and should) have been completely different—because those symptoms are classic signs of nerve compression, which an X-ray cannot detect.

      What the MRI Showed vs. What the X-ray Missed:
      Finding2018 X-ray2023 MRIWhy It Matters
      Disc bulges/protrusionsNot seenL3-L4, L4-L5, L5-S1Causes nerve irritation (radiculopathy)
      Nerve compression (L5 roots)Not seenSevere at L4-L5Explains leg numbness/tingling
      Spinal stenosis (narrowing)Not seenModerate (L3-L4), Severe (L4-L5)Can lead to chronic pain, weakness
      Facet arthritisMildMild (L2-L3)Confirmed, but not the main pain driver

      What Should Have Happened (if MRI was done earlier)

      • PT focused on nerve glides, core stabilization, and postural alignment
      • Epidural steroid injections to reduce inflammation
      • Surgical consultation (e.g., laminectomy for stenosis)
      • Multimodal rehab plan addressing root cause, not symptoms

      I was subjected to protocol and substandard treatment, while the VA was putting the equivalent of band-aid fixes on serious health conditions with no consideration as to the effects they were having on my life. And as my condition worsened over the years, to find out this information angered me. Then I blamed myself because I knew how to advocate for my health. But when you’re in pain and your mental health is taking a hit, it silences your voice.

      Closing

      This is my story. Not every veteran’s story.
      But when we talk about advocacy, we need to talk about the truth—and my truth is this:

      As veterans who’ve served this country, we deserve better.
      We deserve dignity, quality care, and to be heard—in a system not only designed for us but  built for us.

      Because when we’re ignored, dismissed, or buried in protocol, it doesn’t just hurt…
      It dishonors the very service we gave.

      And that.
      That’s unacceptable.

      As I reflect on this journey to gain control of my healthcare needs, I hope my story will help you advocate for your health, tell your story, and push the narrative for quality health care. Please leave a comment.

    • Thoughts

      Regina Thomas

      “I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of darkness, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t reach the surface.” – Unknown 
      Trapped in my thoughts: When Depression Comes Knocking
      The Fog Rolls In:

      I’ve been in my room now for several days…I get up, lay back down, get up again. I can feel the heaviness of the world and I know what’s happening. Y’all, I feel like a trapped animal paralyzed not only by my thoughts but the fear, the sadness, and the weight of not being able to rid them from my head. I can’t sleep, I wake up crying, I am a mess. I pray. But nothing stops the thoughts. And this is the thing. I have had wonderful moments in my life. But why… Why do the negative thoughts live in my head, why do they feel like a blanket that has wrapped itself around me and I can pull it off.

      The Struggle is Real, and It’s Personal

      In these times…. the struggle is real. When I tell you the struggle is real…I feel like nothing about me is right, who I am, what I look like, how I move. So many moving parts to struggle through, and not lose myself.

      This is what depression looks like for me and my prayer as sad as it is… is that it does not live in my body and soul for too long as the fight, is sometimes as bad as the ending. Because the fight leaves me tired… ohhhh so tired…. Scared that it will come back too soon… and scared for the day when the fight is too much.

      Small Successes, Big Battles:

      Living with depression, you are happy with the small successes. I am happy that I am able to recognize the symptoms of Mr. Depression knocking on my door and me hiding behind the door screaming “Yeah wrong door, she ain’t here go away.”

      It starts with moodiness and works right into irritability, then on to omg I just can’t stand to hear constant talking especially when the talk is directed at me. And let’s not forget the being mad, yes chile, just being mad for no reason, no purpose just mad at the world.

      When Depression Sounds a Lot Like Menopause

      I remember once going to the doctor for my yearly checkup. At the time I was in my late 40s…so, she asks about menopause. “Regina, are you having any symptoms of menopause?’ I say well what are the symptoms:

      • Mood swings
      • Irritability
      • Anxiety
      • Depression
      • Crying spells
      • Feeling overwhelmed

      I looked at her and said doc I’ve had those symptoms, for what seems like all my life so how do I know if I am perimenopausal. Really. Y’all look at this list then look at the list for depression:

      • Persistent sadness or low mood
      • Loss of interest or pleasure in things
      • Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or shame
      • Hopelessness about the future
      • Irritability or frustration, even over small matters
      • Feeling emotionally numb or empty

      What…. You say ohhh no Regina, are you kidding me? Yeah….. right. Depression and menopause mimicking one another, now you already know, nature just ain’t right.

      Let’s Be Real About Depression

      Now here is the thing. And the thing that is so important that it deserves a paragraph:

      Depression can be debilitating if you let it, and by that, I mean if you out here trying your damnest to ignore the symptoms and treating it on your own like you have a cold. You already know, SMH….you’re not on the right track. So, let me help you out.

      While there are different forms of depression ranging from mild to severe…. We must get a handle on it. And you can do that, but first you have to recognize it, own it, and treat it like an unwanted boyfriend. And women, we just have to know that unfortunately women bear the weight of being the group who suffer from this disorder the most.

      Get the Help You Deserve:
      • Mild Depression: Sadness, trouble focusing, low energy. Often manageable with therapy, lifestyle changes.
      • Moderate Depression: More consistent symptoms, social withdrawal, may affect work/relationships.
      • Severe Depression: Suicidal ideation, complete lack of motivation, often requires medication + therapy

      And listen to me…. Cause if you have “Severe Depression,” we need you or a family member to dial that number for the crisis hotline 988 or even 911 cause I value you and I see you. And I need you to be able to get the help you need.

      And for all of us that suffer from depression know that help will also come in many forms:

      • Therapy
      • Medication
      • Lifestyle interventions (exercise, nutrition, sleep hygiene)
      • Support groups and community care.

      And if you have read my blog on mental health, I talk about my struggles with mental health as well as how my culture played a part in my not getting help early on. What I am trying to say my loves, is recognizing you need help and getting help is the first step towards healing. So, as we often tease in my family, don’t be the old woman at 90 sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch throwing rocks at the kids because you let a belief hold you from getting help and enjoying the joys that life have to offer. I give you my life experiences to let you know the fight is real. So, once you read …..skip on down the road, yeah to your doc, clinic, or therapist and let them know you are ready…..ready for the fight to be over cause you in the ring and the referee is almost at the count of 10.

      In Closing:

      I need you to “Recognize” Mr. Depression for who he is, in all his fineness. I need you to know…..Mr. Depression has a mission, and he is good at what he does.

      Y’all, Mr. Depression is a “Liar” Yes, he is a liar. He will try to isolate you like an abusive lover. He will make it his mission to strike when you are most vulnerable. He will tell you you’re alone, and you have no one but him. But you’re not. He says nothing will change, But it will. He insists you’re too tired to fight, But here you are—still fighting, even if all you did today was breathe. That counts. You count.

      So, kick his ass to the curb cause you have no room for abusive men in this life.”…..And Mr. Depression is an abusive lover. And what we are not going to do is, let the negative in as life is too hard already.

      Don’t think about it…..Cause I already have my doughnut and coffee waiting for you to sit down and talk. Welcome to the family.

    • The Relationship Formula: Building Bonds That Last

      Regina Thomas

      The Heart of It All:

      Well, here we are—relationships. The very heart of life. They’re the bonds we cherish and the source of our greatest struggles. They can vex us in ways we never imagined, testing our patience, our self-worth, and our resilience. Whether it’s family, friendships, or romantic connections, relationships can be both a source of immense joy and deep sorrow.

      They’re the cause of our mental breakdowns, the moments that make us question our choices, our boundaries, and even our own sense of self. We’ve all experienced that aching heart, that feeling of being torn between love and frustration, and that moment when someone or something takes us completely out of character—making us act in ways we never thought we would.

      But in the mess of it all, there’s also growth. There’s learning how to navigate the ups and downs, finding peace in our own company, and understanding that sometimes, the hardest relationships teach us the most about who we really are. It’s not just about how we relate to others, but also about how we relate to ourselves in the process.

      Growing up in the Military:

      Growing up as a military child, I learned early that nothing stays the same. You make friends, then you move. Make new friends, move again. After a few heartbreaks—screaming, crying, loading up the car with tears still fresh—my sister and I learned a tough but necessary lesson: how to let go and move on.

      I carried that lesson with me. It became second nature. I learned to be cautious about who I let in. Over the years, I’ve had plenty of associates—people I laughed with, worked with, even confided in—but few that I would call true friends. And if you’ve ever had a true friend, you know exactly what I mean.

      The Core of All Relationships: Friendship First

      A true friend is the one who keeps it real with you, even when the truth is uncomfortable. The one who looks you up and down and says, “Girl, you look a mess,” with love in their voice. The one who shows up when your man leaves you for someone else, not just to talk you through it—but to cry with you, hold you, and remind you that he wasn’t shit in the first place. The one who stays until the tears dry and strength returns.

      Friendships like that are rare. They’re like finding a soulmate—someone who just gets you. And like any meaningful relationship, they take time, honesty, and effort. There are highs and lows, moments of joy, truth, and frustration. But we don’t go out searching for those connections; when they’re real, they just happen.

      That kind of friend becomes an extension of you. Your confidant. Your mirror. The person who shows up in both sunshine and storm.

      Now wait a minute… isn’t this the foundation of all healthy relationships?

      Now that’s something worth thinking about.

      Let’s Be Real for a Minute…

      So, tell me this—if we’re out here putting time, energy, and heart into our friendships and winning, then why the hell are our romantic relationships so damn hard?

      We’ve got the formula!
      Foundation + Consistency+Not Forcing It + Truth+Love + Understanding + Trust = Healthy Friendship.
      We use it with our friends, and what do we get? Happiness. Support. Real connection.

      So, what gives?

      The Game Changer: When Sex Enters the Equation

      Ahhh… but here it is, y’all. There’s one more piece in romantic relationships that changes the game—SEX.

      Sex Isn’t Structure: Don’t Let It Fool You

      Yep. That’s the twist─Sex. Sex comes in and flips the table. Because once you let someone in sexually, you’re not just sharing your mind and your time anymore—you’re sharing your body, your energy, your soul on a whole different level.

      And here’s where it gets tricky─sex can mimic the feeling of connection. It can make it feel like the formula is working when it’s not. It clouds judgment. It accelerates intimacy. It confuses chemistry for compatibility. And suddenly, we’re holding on to something that looked like love but was really just a spark with no structure underneath.

      Now don’t get me wrong—sex in a real relationship can be beautiful. But if the foundation’s shaky, sex won’t save it. In fact, it might just hide the cracks long enough for the whole thing to fall apart.

      So maybe the question isn’t “Why doesn’t the formula work?” Maybe it’s:
      Are we applying the formula before we’ve built the foundation—or are we letting sex convince us that it’s already there?

      Whew!! That part right there as my sister cousin would say.

      The Formula: Putting All the Parts Together

      So, you ask, How do I put the formula in play?

      Cause I know what you’re thinking: “Okay Regina, that formula sounds cute and all—but it ain’t that easy.” And you’re right. It’s not easy. But let’s break it down together. The formula works because it’s based on friendship. And when it comes to friendships, we don’t play around. We already know what we want and expect from our friends—and we don’t accept less. Period.

      Listen to what I’m saying.

      When a friend disappoints you, disrespects you, or starts moving funny, what happens? They get moved right on out the friendship circle. So why do we hesitate to apply that same standard to romantic relationships?

      (Add this to the formula.)

      Don’t just look at the covering. The cover can be smooth, sleek, handsome, check all the boxes—and make you think sex should automatically be added to the equation. But hold up. You’re not just building chemistry; you’re building a foundation. That means you’ve got to look under the hood. Check the engine. See how that “perfect” cover holds up under pressure, over time, and through real-life wear and tear.

      (Yep, add this to the formula too.)

      Now I hear you—“Damn Regina, this formula’s getting long.” And yes, it is. But guess what? So is the journey. And if we’re out here trying to build something that lasts—something healthy—then the formula needs to be right. Solid. Real.

      Now don’t get it twisted—no formula will save you from heartbreak, disappointments, or those nights when you cry yourself to sleep. But what it will do is give you something strong to build from. A foundation that honors YOU. Because you are worth it.

      Let’s keep going.

      Make sure you’re compatible. That you share things you both genuinely enjoy—whether it’s sports, music, books, biking, movies, or just people-watching at the park. You don’t need to be twins, but you do need to connect beyond just the surface.

      And please—don’t build it off sex.
      I don’t care how delightful it is. Delightful won’t hold you down when life gets hard.

      (Add this to the formula and go ahead and subtract “delightful sex” if it’s fooling you.)
      Next up: goals.

      If you’ve got a 10-year plan to build, grow, and thrive—and he’s out here napping through life with no vision, no hustle, and no job? Goals. Not. Aligned.

      (Add this to the formula, too.)

      And one last thing—because someone in the back needs to hear it:
      Make sure y’all can laugh together. Like belly-laugh, can’t-breathe, inside-joke kind of laughter. Cause life is too damn short to spend it with someone who doesn’t bring joy to your spirit.

      (Whew. Drop the mic—cause I did that.)

      💚 Family Relationships: The Unchosen Ties

      Now family relationships… whew chile, this one’s tough. Unlike friendships, you can’t choose your family, and because of that, there’s a whole lot of SMH, eye rolls, and OMG moments baked right in.

      But here’s the truth: some of the most important aspects of family relationships are built on love, consistency, protection, listening, and respect. These aren’t just feel-good words, they are the foundation we stand on and the ones we pass down.

      💠 Consistency

      When your words and actions match over time, you build trust. And trust is the root of family understanding—even when things get messy.

      💠 Love & Protection

      Families are complex. Emotions run deep. But when love and protection are at the core—even in discipline, disagreement, or disappointment—it builds confidence. “I might fight with my mom, dad, sister, brother—but I know they love me and will protect me at all costs.” That’s family.

      💠 Listening & Respect

      These two go hand in hand. Listening without shame, judgment, or finger-pointing is a gift. It tells your family: “I see you.” I hear you. I respect you.” That’s powerful.

      It’s Not Rocket Science—It’s Imperfect Love

      Family relationships can feel like rocket science. But when we apply the formula—even imperfectly—it softens the blows and cushions the falls.

      Because at the end of the day, it’s not about always getting it right. It’s about staying in it together, working through it together, and coming out of it together.

      Our Relationship Formulas

      Foundation + Consistency+ Truth+ Love + Understanding + Trust = Healthy Friendships
      Friendship +Foundation + Consistency + Love + Understanding + Trust + knowing what you want and expect + Compatibility +Goals + Laughter─ (Sex, if it’s fooling you) = Healthy Romantic Relationship.
      Foundation +Consistency + Love + Patience + Protection + Respect = Healthy Family Relationships

      In closing, formulas are only foundations, and as such they will not be a magical wand you can wave─they are as the name suggest a foundation, a starting point.

      At Rooted in Real Talk: Conversations with Regina, it is always about building foundations and holding one another down when things get hard.

      Rooted in Real Talk Formula:

      One Community +One Voice +One Shared Moment + Laughter =Rooted in Real Talk: Conversations with Regina
      You know what to do……Click the button and Join the Conversation.

    • Grief, Bad Therapist, and the Journal that Held My Broken Pieces

      By Regina Thomas

      “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

      Mental Health: Breaking the Silence

      In my culture, mental health has long been taboo — seen as a sign of weakness. “Girl, you’re strong. You come from strong women. You’ll be okay.” “You don’t want people thinking you’re crazy or that you can’t handle your business.” These were the comments I heard growing up. Meant to uplift. And in some ways, they did. They carried pride, survival, and deep generational resilience. But they also carried something else:
      Silence. Pressure. The unspoken rule that vulnerability equals weakness… and that asking for help meant you were broken.

      While “You come from strong women. You’ll be okay,” teaches resilience, it also sends other messages:

      • Don’t break down.
      • Don’t show weakness.
      • Don’t let people see your struggles.

      And that second line — “You don’t want people thinking you’re crazy” — that’s a direct hit to mental health. It forces people to hide real pain. It creates shame around therapy, medication, rest — or even naming what hurts.

      But let me be real with you: Taking care of your mental health isn’t weakness. It’s resilience. It’s growth. It’s power. It’s strength. And Lord knows it’s peace.

      Mental Health is a Journey-Not a Sprint

      My journey with mental health has been enlightening, terrifying, rewarding, and one of the most challenging parts of my life. I still ride the waves of depression and wrestle with how to take care of my mental health. Some days feel impossible. Some days I feel stuck. And some days, I just fake it until I make it.

      But I keep moving. I keep fighting for my peace, my joy, my life.

      So, if you’re reading this and feeling any of those things, know this: You are not alone. You’ve found a space where we will learn, heal, and grow—together.

      Journaling: My Path to Truth

      Journaling has been my lifeline. My way to unpack divorce, heartbreak, death, and even losing my hair (RIP, edges) When I tell you, Every challenge shook me. Every setback humbled me. But every time, journaling helped me find my footing again.

      When I lost my mother, I journaled day and night. That grief took a major toll on my mental health. We talked every day. Laughed like best friends. Fought like sisters. Loved like soulmates. After her passing, I just kept falling. The depression was so heavy I couldn’t even get out of bed. I wrote things like:

      “I can’t breathe, I can’t move, I can’t stop crying, I don’t understand why God took you. I’m mad, hurt, and lost. How do I live in a world without you?”

      Thank God my children were grown—because climbing out of that space was long, lonely, and exhausting. And it cost me–time, energy, and pieces of myself. But I made it. Her passing still hurts, but I found help through a local support group in my community as well as family and friends. Finding what you need, when you need it is never easy, but it is necessary.

      Finding Help: Not Easy, But Necessary

      Support for your mental health is not just about getting help–It’s about finding the right help. The right fit. You can’t force it, just like you can’t force your feet into a pair of heels that don’t fit no matter how cute they are. Help comes in many forms–therapy, counseling, group support etc. –but the truth is, it’s not always affordable or accessible. So, when looking, here are some options to consider:

      • Therapy that is based on a sliding scale– Based on your income. Look up Open Path Collective or search sliding scale therapist near me.
      • Community mental health clinics- Offer low-cost counseling.
      • Faith-based counseling– Found at your local places of worship.
      • Support Groups (online and In-Person)-national Alliance on Mental Illness, Meetup.com for local groups and Mental Health America, these are stating points.
      • Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)-Many jobs are now offering programs and services that care for employees’ mental health.
      • University or Training Clinics- Although you will get students in training, remember that these are under licensed supervision often for low cost and sometimes free.

      Remember, these are just options to help you find a therapist. But as far as one that is a good fit for you. The ball is in your court — you’re the one choosing your therapist.
      But here’s the truth: sometimes finding the right therapist comes with heartache and disappointment. Let me share a couple of my own experiences with you. And yes, you heard that right — a couple. Because it takes a special kind of person to help make sense of the chaos in my head.

      Not All Therapist Are Created Equal

      The “Power Dynamic” Therapist

      As a young military member in my 20s, needing help with my depression. I sought help outside the base, going to a therapist that used sliding scale therapy. Her fee was $10 a session and I was to see her twice a week (Yes, $10-but when you’re seeking your sliding scale, don’t go quoting me, that was a longggg time ago). During the first session we talked about what therapy would look like. Homework, working together, and getting to the root of my issues. I was happy. Y’all after the third session, I began feeling uneasy. This was not therapy, this was trying to take over my life and tell me what to do. I might have been young, but I definitely was not stupid. She was making suggestions that would impact my life not improve it. Yeah, she had to go. And I let her know I would not be back.

      The “Not My Job Therapist”

      The second time, I found a young lady who was former military like me. We talked about the military and I thought, finally, someone who I have a liked background with someone who I believed I could be comfortable with because life had taken a hit, and I was spiraling. I poured my heart out, snot and tears flying–not really sure what was wrong but knowing I needed help—she said:

      “You should probably see a VA therapist and consider medication. “If you think you’re still open to therapy, you can come back.” Wow!!

      But here is the kicker, she stood up and said you can pay the copay or not it doesn’t really matter…WTH is happening here? Then she continued to stand until I got my butt out of the chair and stood looking at her like what just happened here. But she politely handed me her card and said let me know what you decide. I walked outside looking at the card and threw it in the parking lot like a losing scratch-off ticket. Disappointed, Disillusioned, and yeah, a little heartbroken. I cried all the way home, 30miles. 💔

      But I’m telling you this not to discourage you —but to prepare you. Therapy is a personal fit. It’s an interview process. You’re looking for someone to walk with you on one of your most vulnerable journeys.

      Real Talk Tips: Finding the Right Mental Health Support

      • Interview your therapist like you are Oprah: You are allowed to ask questions and see if it’s the right vibe.
      • Check credentials+ specialties: Some focus on trauma, some on grief, others on cultural sensitivity.
      • Ask about sliding scale options if you’re on a budget.
      • Look for shared experiences: Sometimes, culture, race, background, or language matters in feeling safe.: just because one (or even a few) don’t work out, doesn’t mean healing isn’t possible. And know this:

      🖤You’re Not Alone

      Here at Rooted in Real Talk, we will continue to share, support, and be here —Because the journey is too hard to walk alone.

      Let’s take the difficulty out of chaos and grow together.

      Because sometimes healing starts with telling the truth–and laughing through the tears.

      Now grab your drink of choice and join the conversation. I’m here and listening. Opps, I forgot my doughnut. Y’all continue engaging, I’ll be right back.

      Share your thoughts